Hold

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There was something about you
The first time my eyes gazed upon you
I knew for sure what I’d  truly feel about you
“I wouldn’t like you”

A month has passed and still that’s what I felt about you
But then on a certain situation
You quickly grabbed my hand
And I unconsciously grabbed your hand back

I don’t know why
Yet at first I hated the feeling of your hand against mine
Time passed and I felt fine with it
And when our hands parted, it’s like I wanted more

You said something about what I wore that night
I thought it was a compliment
I hope you knew you complimented me
Because of that, I smiled all the way home

You made me smile
You made me laugh
And I misjudged you
You were something all this time

You held my hand again
You gave me a high-5
I wasn’t even asking for it
But you did and the thought of you makes me glad

But you suddenly left
Like nothing happened that night
We had fun, we told stories
AND YOU LEFT ME THINKING

WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU?

You stopped talking to me
And you broke my heart
In a blink of an eye
That was it…

All I could hope for is the best
Please tell me how you truly feel
Don’t suffocate me with your dead silence
Say it’s me all along

Say you want to hang out again
Say you want to hear me say your name
Say you will never break me
Say you think me

This is it
I will never ask anything from you
Just tell me
Was it all nothing to you?

 

 

TRY

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I’m in love with you
If you ever had a second life
Will you ever be able to tell me too so?
Even if I had ten, I’d tell you nevertheless

I sound weird… I’m gonna laugh at all of this poems honestly

I saw you yesterday
and just right before I woke up
your traces follow me 
everywhere I go

As hard as I try to ignore 
the harder the pain gets
and I feel like wringing my neck

I tried to stop it
believe me I did
yet every time I try
it all dates back to your smile

That night my heart was racing 
beating fast like drums
You smiled at me 
and I saw an angel 

Not entirely sure what I felt
but it is different
like I wanna see you and know you 
but I restrain the situation

I want you to disappear
The more I have you here
Pain gets felt more
when you leave

People come and go
although you came 
and it’s your time to go
Say you’ll remember me

Say you’ll remember the feeling
Say you’ll relive it one more time
Say you’ll never forget my words
Say you’ll love me in another lifetime

By then I’d be at peace
By then you’d be honored
I might have loved someone else
But never the way I loved you 

On sleepless days
On tiring hours
My thoughts are you
and how happy we could be 

But the silence of our situation
gravely separated us
I held on tight
you let go

You thought I did
but it was you
I tried, I really did
You didn’t

I thought it was fine
although largely unaccepted
I let my feelings drown me
I let you drown me

Now I have to be strong
smart and careful
I’m an easy prey
That’s why I feel dead now

 

It is wrong

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I fell, yes I really did
Not off a plight of stairs, not off a cliff
I fell for him and he did so as well
We fell together, not in love, but apart

So I liked him and he did too
But the time, the situation, the people
They are like scissors ripping our attached strings
We were in love but there are things to let go

He was tied, tied to a vow he made years ago 
I was tied to anxiety to never share what I feel
Too scared, too late, too sorrowful
And our ways became parallel, never again to meet

He loved me and I loved him back
Some say it's what truly matters
Most say we were wrong
Like love is a curse for people

Some things are forever if we fought for them 
But we didn't even look, didn't even try
Maybe some love weren't meant to be fought for
True love can also be letting go, love is patient 

He loved me, I loved him too
Others maybe against it
Yet I'll continue to love him 
Even when he could feel like a stranger

I'll keep this love with my soul
Every silent breath of mine whispers his name
I'll keep this love to myself
Every dream of mine will be a secret

Though I may find others to live with
Others whom I can marry and hold hands with
I'll continue loving you, yes, you
And I'll wait and wait until my last breath

When I wake up in after life 
You'd be there, promise you'll be
We'd be happy for we are together
When it would be okay to actually be

 


 *Turns out we weren't wrong for all we did was love

To the guy who’s never gonna reciprocate the love I have for

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I swear I was destined to be wrong again

My heart kept beating loudly as a car’s siren

I was gasping for air, I couldn’t breathe

A numb sensation covered me but there were gnashing teeth

I fell, and everything that falls break

As soon as I loved you, the world’s at stake

You changed everything, you deliberately forced it to happen

Nights are grown,days are shorten

I knew for sure what I felt was real

But you struck me in my chest, took my heart out

Squeezed all the blood from it and placed it back

Maybe I’m still breathing but you killed me

You didn’t do it once, you did it everyday when I wake up

I continually sensed the pain

I abstained your action cause I love you

Even when you don’t love me  back

Now that we’re off to our own lives

You can easily throw me away like a speck of dust on your shoulder

While I continue to wail about my feelings

Yet one question kept me up all night

Do you love me too?

Just imagine the regret if you did so too.

Rights & Freedom VS My Church’s Teachings

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In all honesty, I have no shame in saying that I love the ‘LGBT’ community. Especially, back then I was a part of it. And now that countries from all over the world adjusted their systems to initiate the right of all men whether straight, bi, trans, gay, lesbian, or basically in all other terms there is for what you are, you have an equal right to present who you are, equal right to marry the person you love, equal right to express who and what makes you a person. It’s a beauty. It’s a way of showing that we have choices in life that could either reprimand us or acknowledge us. I love my co human beings. The labels, race, religion, or to what group we belong to does not deem us good or bad in society. I love my men just because I still believe that we are all good, true that we do make mistakes but quite frankly, it’s human nature. I love people cause we are brothers in this world and we are companions into the fate that lies upon us in this galaxy.

PS. there are people who maltreated me and the people I love and it takes guts to love those people so just you know, understand my exceptions 

On the other half, my religious leaders tend to conserve what there is from then and now. They preserve the doctrines of the early church or better yet what is scripted in our Holy Book. I admit that I am somebody who is fervent to the church. My faith and belief hold strongly to what I believe in and what I focus my life on.

This is one of the issues where I am really really really blue about. Unlike the Reproductive Health Bill Issue and other issues that involves the church and the state, on all those other topics, I have a stable answer to. It sucks cause I can’t make up my mind on this one.

I also know that you cannot put ‘religion’ in debates because not everyone has the same religion. But come to think of it, religion plays an evident role in the way we think and how we put our lives into work. (my mind’s messed up, bros)

 I love my church and to it shall I abide

But my past experience says otherwise


OKAY.

So here’s my vote.

I HAVE NO IDEA. When it comes to gender, no one should put their votes in.

Why, you say?

Because when it comes to gender, we would all choose the side on the party we belong to.

When it comes to gender, no one freaking is omniscient.

(I know for a fact that some Church people would side with same-sex marriage when they are in fact, not STRAIGHT)

(I know for a fact that some ‘LGBT’ would side with Christian teachings for in fact, they have immense faith)


If you have thoughts you wanna share, please comment. So, in both ways, we help ourselves learn more.

Things To Realize Part 2: Attitude & Manners

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Here comes the sun! Try to cheer up my lonely friend. This is solely for the purpose of those people feeling alone and sad like me, I hope this could reach out to you and we can share the same feelings together.

Attitude and Manners

People who work at the market at night are always being directed to rearrange everything that is out of order and pick up new supplies and load them on the racks and shelves. They also have to make sure that the labels are facing the front. But the grocery stores are massive and yeah kinda creepy when you are alone at night. What if you were working there? And your co-workers are a hundred feet away? will you still do your job accurately?

Do your right job and do not cheat your way in. Our attitude and manners are rightfully tested when no one is looking. So if you see a nice man on the streets with hundred of people looking at him, beware, it may be only a figurehead just so people would honor him. What can I say? We can’t tell if a person’s intention is good.

To do good things needs work. Slacking off might be a great idea. But for those who wants to succeed, LEAVE it behind.

It may not seem that easy but if you want the world to change for you and be better, the change should start with … YOU. Start doing the right thing, even if others are mistreating you, just show kindness to them.
Even if they are rude or what, be the smart one and be kind.

Commonly, when you create a mistake and don’t do anything to make it better, there’s a voice in your head called ‘conscience’ and it can hunt you down for weeks, months and years and leave you with anxiety, guilt and regret. To make your conscience be sealed, do good things.

A man who has a silent & happy conscience is stronger. Strength enables him to withstand even the mightiest storm.

In our world, well educated people thinks highly of themselves cause they were enlightened. Well educated people thinks they are more worthy than the poor and needy. Well educated people thinks they are over us cause they have money.

There are a lot of articles I read saying that a nice man shows that he is educated since he didn’t scoop down the level of a person against him.
But now, l realize even if you are educated that doesn’t mean you are correct all the time.

Because in our generation, many people are educated and successful, but they lose what is essential and that is manners.

So SCHOOL <—– please remember that something worth knowing cannot be taught. It is found and realized by yourself using your experiences being tackled in your life’s timeline.

I am craazeeeh. Seriously I don’t remember what I just said in this article.

tell me your stories showing how you dealt with the world’s mess

How to reach out to the 3Ls

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EMPATHY

Today, we often forget that the people around us have feelings too- they can feel pain, they can feel happiness just like you. We try to put ourselves first and we forget to put ourselves in the shoes of others.

Just like the Golden Rule :

Do to others what you want others to do into you

So today, I’ll be sharing some small ways wherein we can help the 3L’s;
LOST, LEAST, & LUST. Just like what I said before; we need to put on the shoes of other people so we can appreciate the life we have and be satisfied with the blessings upon us.

With so, if we refuse to help the needy, poor and the outcasts, we would also be detesting God. Remember, even if a few men push you away and give up on you, God will never leave you. God loves you. We are lost without God. We are least without God and we are lust without Him.

Do you have a room with a roof?
Do you have a nice, comfy, warm bed to rest upon?
Do you eat 3 times a day?
Do you have proper attire to protect your body?

If you said yes, you are probably richer and more blessed than 75% of the world.

Reflect on the miseries of other people that you don’t have?

I know that we all have different problems that our different ideas and opinions can comprehend. But also if we feel a little happy and satisfied, wouldn’t it be a great idea if we stop for awhile? Get out of our comfort zone and help out our brothers and sisters.


  1. Volunteer on any advocacies or projects. There you can help group organizers repack goods to be sent to Third World Countries or when a calamity strikes a country. A small helping hand can make a big difference when CHARITY is involved.
  2. Offer to read bible readings or storybooks to orphans Orphans kind of have a short upbringing depending on the caregivers they have and the orphanage they are staying in. To help these small impressive kids, why don’t we try to teach them manners aside from properly educating them and teach then the value of love, trustworthiness and camaraderie among their friends who they treat like a family inside.
  3. Have some old toys? You can try visiting some village or small coastal areas and give the little kids you see playing around your old cool fun stuffs
  4. Is it your birthday? Last year when I turned thirteen, I didn’t have any time to celebrate my birthday at all. I was on top of a mountain with a group of people. We were there to give away school supplies to the children who are studying there and we also had a small feeding program. I used up all the money that were supposed to be used for my birthday and spent it all up there.
  5. Let’s use our brain and help in many possible ways There are many possible ways on how we could help. If we are also financially lost, then of course we could also help in a way we won’t need to pay.
  6. Remember that helping isn’t just about giving money to the poor, donating your old clothes and stuffs. Think about it. Helping doesn’t always mean they take more from you. Just remember that even if they take stuffs from you, you are being refilled by God anyways.

    Please add more suggestions and make sure to put some comments below. leave me a reply!

    If you liked this, thank you!

    Have a fun day!
    Bbyyyeeee